Fight! At 48 I Can Still Hold My Own.


The farm house in Harmony, NC on the day of departure.

The farm house in Harmony, NC on the day of departure.

On April 3, 2013 I packed what belongings I wanted to keep (or could not part with yet) into my car.  It was loaded to overflowing.

There is no more room.

There is no more room.

My car can get no fuller.  It is almost dangerous.

My car can get no fuller. It is almost dangerous.

Why can I not part with this stuff?

Why can I not part with this stuff?

On April 4, 2013 I kissed and bid farewell to the brother and family.  Leaving behind my queen sized mattress (nephews fighting over who gets it), 40″ flat screen t.v. (ode to my football fetish and a happy birthday to my brother), huge sections of wire racks that I kept my crafts supplies on, half my clothes burned in the trash fire, and a donation box to the church.  I hit the road first to Greensboro to stop and see Jon at his primary job (we cannot say the name) then on to Abner to stay with a friend (so I thought).  Wonder of wonders I feel that it is going to be a good day, sleet and all.

Entering Greensboro, NC

Entering Greensboro, NC

Now understand that I did not know this person (“friend”) really well, but I had known her as a peripheral friend for some years, had her on my facebook friends list, played Words all the time, thought she was a decent mother and house keeper.  Little did I know.  Well I arrived and was shown my room. It was lovely.  We went shopping and bought new pillows and some foods that I eat (clean eater, mostly).  Now I am supposed to be staying here for the next two months for free per her invitation.  First night down, next day is Friday April 5, 2013 and I am busy pulling stuff in and out of the car getting out what I need and arranging my room, when I am invited to go out for dinner, drinks, and pool game for her birthday.

So, cut away to the night and I am with the friend and her boyfriend at a local restaurant having drinks and more drinks and no food.  Everything is happy except she does not like a girl with one of their friends.  Mind you I am 48 with a clean record, I do not get involved in such matters.  I give my opinion and let it go.  Finally, we move to the pool hall where we meet more people, because by this time “friend” is slammed getting loud and overly friendly up in everybody’s business.  I am thinking “boyfriend” will handle this.  Well from there, things got worse and she ruined someone else’s night then got mad at “boyfriend” and took off walking up a dark country highway.  Mean while I am playing pool by myself when “boyfriend” comes and gets me and says we have to find her.  Okay, I am ready to hit the hay, anyway.  I am not an all night partier and normally I do not get drunk.  OOOOOOPPPPSS!!

Yes, we finally find her and she is combative and will not get in the car.  I thought I was handling her easy and manipulating her into the car.  Stupid me, should have told “boyfriend” no and made him get her.  In short, I got her into the car kicking, screaming, and threatening me.  In the car she is hitting me and the boyfriend and just dangerous to drive with.  I tell “boyfriend” to stop and let her out.  I get out with her so I can keep her from doing something stupid, like walking out into traffic.  All the while I am thinking to myself that I am breaking my primary rule of dealing with alcoholics and drunks.  Which is I do not deal with alcoholics and drunks!

Well, when I got out of the car to look after “my friend” she grabs my hair, yanks my head down to waist level and starts hitting me in the head.  What am I suppose to do?  Training takes over, even after a few drinks.  I through four punches over my head and connect with something, we go to the ground where she is still pulling my hair but I have her wrists and can hold her down.  After a couple of seconds I let her up, get in the car, tell “boyfriend” to call the cops for her, and take me to the house so I can get my stuff and leave.  What does he do?  Drives up the road half a mile and sits there and waits.  I am thinking I am screwed.  The police show up, they find her, and then preceed to tell me that she and I are going to jail unless we can go home to separate rooms and behave.  Okay, I am good for that.  Nope, we get in the car and she starts telling me she is going to take care of me.  Tomorrow she is taking out charges and I am going to prison.  Can you say Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde?

I did get out of the car and try to get the police to take me to the house and get my stuff.  No go.  So they put me back into a dangerous situation, I feel.  But I got back into the car, got to the house, went in and got my stuff, put the key on the counter as I went out with the last of my things, found a hotel room for a couple of days, and realized my glasses are missing off my face.  It is a wonder I made it out alive, at least that is what I am feeling.  I hate a nasty drunk.  If you cannot enjoy a buzz and have to ruin everyone’s night, then you need not drink.  I know I might as well be talking to a fence post.

Now I am sitting here trying to decide whether to buy camping equipment and head to Ohio by way of the beach, just head to Ohio or South Carolina to visit with family, find another friend to bunk with, couchsurf, or locate a house sitting gig.  What to do?  I will have to let you know after I decide.

I have to say that even though I am embarassed about what happened and thankful that I did not go to jail because of someone else’s stupidity and my loving heart, I am pretty proud that I held my own against someone smaller, thinner, faster, and more than ten years my junior.  At 48 I can still hold my own.  But the moral of this story is “Walk Away”.  I broke two rules that night: 1. Always take your own car so that you are not dependent on others. 2. Never “DEAL” with a drunk or alcoholic, you cannot help them without jeapordizing yourself.

Happy Wanderings!

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